Prepping Your Firstborn for Baby Number Two (or Three!)

Babies and Bumps

February 04, 2024

So, you’re about to double the love (and, let’s be real, the chaos) in your household with the arrival of a new baby. For your current child (or children), this is huge — like, first moon landing huge. It can be an emotional roller coaster with the occasional side-eyeing, as they ponder what this means for their own life. But fear not! Here are some age-based tips to get your tots and pre-teens on board with the idea of a new sibling and eager for their arrival.

For the Tiny Tots (Ages 1-3)

Toddlers are the CEOs of Me, Myself, and I, Inc. Telling them they’re about to get a baby sibling requires a blend of subtlety and repetition. Keep in mind – at this age, you can expect anything from wide-eyed wonder to absolute indifference. But it’s still very much worth the effort!

  • The Classic Bait-and-Switch: Whip out a sibling-themed picture book during snack time. They’re munching, you’re reading, and before you know it, they’re learning about siblings in between bites of cheese sticks.
  • Repeat After Me: Get a plush baby doll and have your toddler practice being gentle. Each time they give the doll a hug, casually mention, “Just like you’ll do with the new baby!” Repetition is key – like the chorus of their favorite song that never, ever ends.
  • Sneak Preview: Show them baby videos of themselves and weave in a narrative about how they’re about to get a sibling.
  • Baby’s Playlist: Let them pick lullabies for the baby, and groove together to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” – it’s a dance party with a mission.
  • Nursery Art Director: Arm them with crayons and let them design a picture for the baby’s room. Abstract scribbles? Absolutely. It’s Picasso in the making.

Injecting these activities with the same playful and upbeat tone will make the concept of a new sibling a regular part of their fun routine, reducing resistance and building anticipation for your toddler or tyke.

For the Preschool Pioneers (Ages 3-5)

Kids in this age group are like little explorers, discovering the world one question at a time. Introducing the concept of a new family member is like adding a surprise twist to their adventure. But, beware, the idea of sharing their home with a baby can spark a bit of an existential crisis. Involve them in the prep work – this is about making them feel like they’re gaining a buddy, not losing solo status.

  • Onesie Fashion Show: Have them choose a stylish onesie or other clothes for the new baby.
  • Stroller Co-Pilot: Invite them to help pick out the stroller and take it for a test drive. (Safely!) zooming down the aisle.
  • Toy Scouts: Send them on a mission to select the softest, snuggliest toy for the baby.
  • Decoration Station: Unleash their inner decorator by letting them choose a color or theme for a corner of the nursery.
  • Sibling Storytime: Encourage them to read a picture book to the baby bump. It’s a read-aloud with the cutest audience ever.

By weaving these playful strategies into their daily discoveries, you’re setting the stage for your preschooler to view the new sibling as the ultimate sidekick in their ongoing saga of exploration. It’s about infusing their world with a sense of shared adventure and mutual excitement. And as they learn to include their new partner-in-crime into their elaborate fort constructions or tea parties, they’re not just playing—they’re preparing to become the superhero sibling in the newest family escapade. 

For the School Crew (Ages 6-12)

Older children can sense the shift in the family dynamic more acutely, sparking questions about shared attention and possibly, the logistics of daily life. The strategy? Open, honest dialogue. What’s changing? What’s staying the same? It’s about reinforcing their secure spot in the family lineup while navigating the new team dynamics.

  • Game Plan Pow-Wow: Host a family meeting where the soon-to-be older sibling can air their thoughts and be the chief planner of a welcome celebration for the baby. It’s democracy in action, family style.
  • Memory Lane: Create a scrapbook or digital slideshow together, highlighting the older child’s own milestones and fun times, reminding them that they had their solo spotlight and now it’s time to share the stage.
  • Role Pledge: Draft a “Big Sibling Agreement,” complete with official titles and duties, making them feel important and reinforcing their role in your growing family.
  • Two-Person Tent: Set up a sibling campout in the living room, complete with snacks and storytelling, forging bonds under the glow of a makeshift starry sky.
  • Secret Handshake: Invent a secret handshake or code word that’s just for the siblings, fostering a unique connection that’s theirs alone to share.

By integrating these strategies, you’re opening channels for your child to feel involved and excited about their new role, while also addressing their need for individual recognition. It’s about balancing the new with the familiar, ensuring the transition feels like a shared adventure, rather than a solo quest that’s coming to an end. With a bit of creativity and a lot of heart-to-heart chats, you can empower your school-aged child to embrace their new title as the coolest big sibling around.

With open and honest communication, empathy, and involvement, you can make the transition not only easier, but also a positive experience for your firstborn. Just remember, there will be some bumps in the road! So, the more you lay your own preferences aside and bring love and understanding to the conversation, the smoother things will go.

Founder & President, Babies & Bumps

Monica Infante

Monica founded Babies & Bumps in 2013 to inform and empower new and soon-to-be parents. Over the past decade, B&B’s footprint has grown to include 13 cities – today, she and her team plan, promote, and produce more in-person maternity events than any other series in the U.S. Babies & Bumps also offers digital resources and hosts online events throughout the year to serve parents everywhere. She lives in Rochester, NY with her husband and two children.

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